The 2022 Totally Random National Rugby League Finals
There are two major football codes in Australia: Australian Rules Football, and Rugby
League. The AFL finals started last
week, now it is the turn of the NRL to stage theirs. And you all know what that means. That’s right.
It is time once more for the Totally Random finals. Home field, injuries, form, history, and
momentum play no factor. This is completely
random with the finals played once and only once. Here is how it went.
Week 1
Week one was generally high scoring with the mother of all
shootouts between the Roosters and the Rabbitohs. The Roosters survived and kept their late
season surge going with a breathtaking 50-42 victory. Bye-bye Rabbitohs. Meanwhile, the top seed Panthers cruised into
the Preliminary final and earned a bye in Week 2 with an easy 24-2 victory over
the Eels. I thought the Eels would do
better, but of course, this is totally random.
What was I thinking? The Storm
have not been their typical selves this year but they staggered and stumbled
their way into next week with a dramatic 24-22 win over the Raiders, who always
give the Storm trouble. This is the
first time in a while the Storm finished out of the top 4 at season’s end, but
as the 5th place team, this victory means they fight on. And finally, the Sharks really put on a show
with a pretty easy 40-22 win over the Cowboys with the Cowboys scoring late in
garbage time to make the score look more respectable than it actually was. At the end of week 1, the Raiders and
Rabbitohs start their offseason and the other six teams continue on with both
the Panthers and Sharks earning a week 2 bye.
Week 2
The Eels took out the Storm late in the regular season. Smarting from the beating they took at the
hands of the top seed Panthers; you would think they would bounce back against
the injury riddled Storm. But no! The Storm seems to have found finals form as
they smash the Eels on the road 40-12.
The Eels who finished 4th, thanks to their win over the
Storm, are out, while the Storm blow into a preliminary finals match against
the Sharks.
In the other match, both sets of fans needed a defibrillator
nearby as this one went back and forth.
But when the final siren sounded, North Queensland prevailed thereby
taking full advantage of their double chance.
The final score was 42-38. But
they have a daunting task the following week as they square off against the top
seed and defending champions Panthers. It’s
a good thing this is totally random.
The Preliminary Finals
Cowboys’ fans kept their defibrillator nearby just in case
while the Panthers did not have any because they basically cruise controlled
their way through 2022. This is why
their hearts didn’t stand up as well as those belonging to the Cowboys. The Cowboys win another thriller 42-44. Wow, that controversial penalty awarded in
the 80th minute will live on for years. The Panthers fail to go back-to-back, and the
Cowboys skip into their fourth Grand Final hoping to even their record at 2-2.
The last time the Cowboys were in the Grand Final, they lost
to the Storm. Well, they get their
chance for revenge because the Storm win a defensive struggle against the
Sharks 4-14. After all the shootouts, it
looks like the random number generator wanted a rest, except of course, it
doesn’t actually require rest. At any
rate, it’s time to party like it’s 2017 with the rematch between the Cowboys
and the Storm.
The Grand Final
This time, the Cowboys extract revenge with yet another
thriller. North Queensland hospitals are
by this time overrun with heart patients.
The Cowboys prevail in a 28-26 thriller with one failed try conversion
by the Storm giving the Cowboys the most coveted title in Rugby League, the
2022 Totally Random Premiership.
Congratulations to the Cowboys.
Meanwhile, another Cowboys team in the USA, the Dallas Cowboys who are
my favorite NFL team, will try to emulate Australia’s Cowboys. They probably won’t, but as I always say,
hope is the curse of the fan. It keeps
us coming back every year. For the North
Queensland Cowboys, their hope was realized, at least in the Totally Random
universe.
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