The 2022 Totally Random AFL Finals

 The Totally Random AFL 2022 Finals

Hello once again.  After 23 rounds of the 2022 Australian Rules Football season, it is time for the finals and as always, we run the Totally Random finals.  A random number generator is used to pick the winners.  Merit, home field advantage, form, and injuries play no part.  The tournament is played once and here are the results.  So sit back, relax, and waste a few minutes with this annual tradition.

Week 1

The Tigers are in good form while the Lions are not.  On Thursday, September 1, the Tigers continue on with a comfortable 119-83 victory.  The Lions will need to examine their list and do some soul searching.

On Saturday, the Demons and Swans, 2^nd and 3^rd respectively, play for a chance to host a preliminary final.  Melbourne are the defending champs and the loser gets a second chance.  This is just as well for the Demons because the Sydney Swans roll into Melbourne and take care of business 89-49.  This game is a blowout which is completely unexpected.

We then get to the game everyone in Victoria has been waiting for.  The Cats finished on top of the AFL world while the Magpies took their fans on a wild Cinderella ride with close, miracle, comeback win after close, miracle comeback win.  The MCG is sold out but the game is a one-sided blowout.  The Cats show why they are the top team as they demolish the Magpies 104-48.  All is not lost for Collingwood, though.  They finished 4^th and therefor have a second chance.  They will want to improve though.

Finally we have the game no one really cares about unless you are a Dockers or Bulldogs supporter, and there aren’t many of those around.  The Dockers have been good all year and deserve to host a final.  They don’t disappoint in the shootout of the year 147-139.  The Dogs only made the 8 because Carlton committed one of the great choke jobs in AFL history so good riddance to them.

The Swans and Cats get to rest while the other four teams move on to another do or die finals.

Week 2

At a packed MCG full of roaring Tigers fans, we see a tough defensive struggle.  In the end, the Demons keep their hope of back-to-back titles alive with a two goal win over the Tigers 69-57.  Most of the crowd consists of Tigers supporters so it is a disappointing day.

Meanwhile, Magpies have hope while Dockers fans are beginning to believe.  But it is the Magpies who prevail in a rare big win for them 151-99.  The Dockers join the Tigers in the land of what might have been.

Week 3 – The Preliminary Finals.

No more second chances.  A win books a ticket to the Grand Final while a loss books a ticket to an offseason of frustration.  The Swans were the only team in the second half of the regular season to defeat the Magpies.  They did this in Sydney.  It’s déjà vu because these two teams meet again in Sydney.  Usually in sports, the wicked stepsisters win and the Cinderella Collingwood story comes to an abrupt halt.  The Swans prevail in a thriller 83-75.  Let’s hope Collingwood finally chokes a 4^th quarter away so they can experience as much pain and suffering as possible.  And no, I’m not vindictive.

Meanwhile the Cats are riding high.  They have a history of underwhelming in the finals but this year is different they tell themselves.  This year they have been the most consistent team all season.  But this is a one game winner take all affair and the Demons come to play taking the Cats out 113-70.  In the end, the Cats are no match for the defending champs.

The Grand Final

And now the big one.  The Sydney Swans travel to the MCG to take on the defending champions.  The Swans last won a Grand Final in 2012.  Can they end 10 years of being very good, but not quite good enough?  After a tense beginning, the Sydney Swans wear down the demons and prevail 113-81.  The Demons fail to repeat leaving the Tigers as the last team to do that.  I had to glorify my Tigers somehow.  Congratulations to the Sydney Swans, the 2022 AFL Totally Random champions!