Totally Random 2022 Playoffs
Another NFL regular season has come and gone and the
playoffs are finally upon us. And you
know what that means. It is time for the
2022 totally random NFL playoffs. There
is absolutely no analysis, no handicapping, no past history factored in, and
not a single bit of intellectual effort spent to determine the winners and
losers. This is completely random. With that said, here we go.
Wild Card Round
The Raiders faced four elimination games to get here
including one of the greatest regular season games ever against the LA
Chargers. This took its toll on the
gallant Raiders as Joe Burrow dices up this exhausted team 47-10. Sorry Raiders, but your run was fun to
watch. Meanwhile in Buffalo, we have
another massive wind event making throwing the ball next to impossible. And once again, the Patriots emerge
victorious by a score of 11-9. I’m going
to say no touchdowns were scored in this one.
The Patriots win on a safety. Buffalo
should consider a dome.
The 7th seed Eagles go into Tampa and pull off
the impossible. They keep Tampa to 6
points as they grind out a 19-6 upset win.
Is it finally time for Brady to retire?
In Dallas, a lot of people expect the 49ers to manhandle the Cowboys,
but the Cowboys show they can beat anyone on their day as they roll to a 41-22
win over the 49ers. Good riddance. In the Sunday night game, the Steelers , who
are lucky if they score more than 14 points, put 40 on the stunned Chiefs winning
40-37 on a last second field goal. The
good people of Missouri are in shock as is the rest of the football world. And finally on Monday night, we get yet another
Cardinals, Rams matchup. We get a low
scoring defensive struggle as the Cardinals put the high-priced Rams out of
their misery 14-7.
Divisional Round
The Titans had a bye and thanks to the Steelers’ shock win
over the Chiefs, it’s their turn to get Big Ben. The Titans do what the Chiefs should have
done, blowing the Steelers out of 2022 42-3.
Meanwhile we have two young quarterbacks going at it, Mac Jones and Joe
Burrow. It is Jones and the Patriots who
prevail 45-35 in a shootout. Wow, what
a game.
The Packers seem to always glide into the playoffs thanks to
playing in a pathetic division. People bang
on the NFC East as being the worst division in football but come on, I know the
Giants really suck, but the NFC East sent two teams to the postseason while the
NFC North sent only one while none of the other teams had a winning
record. The Packers get to cruise every
year. But this is the playoffs and the
Eagles show why the NFC East can still bring it as they stun the Packers
23-21. Bye-bye Aaron. Good riddance.
Meanwhile we’ve been hearing how Arizona quarterback Kyle
Murray has never lost at AT&T Stadium.
Well he has now as the Cowboys whoop up on dem Cardinals 44-0. How ‘bout them Cowboys! The Cowboys have smashed the Eagles twice
during the regular season. Surely they
can do so again as they are a vastly superior team.
Conference Championship Round
But this is the Totally Random Playoffs where nothing makes
sense. The lowly Eagles, lowest seed in
the NFC march into AT&T stadium and score, and score, then keep on scoring
as they smash my Cowboys 35-18.
What disappointment.
Meanwhile the football world get just what they want, yet
another Patriots Super Bowl appearance.
The master defeats the apprentice 37-25.
So we have the Eagles and Patriots meeting once again. Can the Eagles keep up their Cinderella run?
The Super Bowl
No one saw this coming.
Two wild card teams, the 7th and 6th seeds
respectively meet for all the marbles.
And it is the incredible Eagles who fly high 44-22. Who will get their statue?
Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles, the 2022 Totally
Random Champions of the NFL. Let’s hope
this doesn’t happen in the real world, but if they take out the Buccaneers and
Packers, it means the Cowboys could get the conference championship game at
home.
Let the real games begin!
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