The 2018 Totally Random AFL Finals

Last year my Tigers won the whole thing in the real world, but in the Totally Random 2017 AFL finals, they were blown away twice to tumble out.  What will happen this year?  Yes Australia it’s time.  It is time for the 2018 Totally Random AFL finals.  The results are completely random.  Form, schedule, and venue play no part in the predictions.  This is completely random, and the tournament is played only once.  This means the winner has truly fought through all the randomness to emerge as the Random Grand Final winner.

Round 1

In round 1 top qualifier Richmond play fourth place Hawthorn for the first time in a final in AFL history.  This is truly amazing given the success of both clubs.  Having said that, their success only kind of overlapped in the 1970’s so perhaps this isn’t surprising.  In a brutal defensive struggle on what I’ll say is a cold, wet, and windy Thursday night, the Tigers pay for their cruise control attitude going into the finals and fall 57-40 to the in form Hawks.  Tigers fans are bitterly disappointed while Hawks fans believe yet another premiership is theirs for the taking.

In what can only be described as an instant classic, the Demons, who appear in the finals for the first time in 12 years, defeat the Cats by 31 points in one of the highest scoring games in AFL finals history 164-133.  Wow that was breathtaking. 

On Saturday afternoon the Giants play the Swans.  The Giants limped into the finals and fell from the top four with two bad losses to end the season.  But if they have to play a road final, it might as well be against Sydney.  The Giants are getting people back from injury but so are the Swans.  The two teams are jealous of Melbourne and Geelong and want to show the world they can score just as much.  And in this case, the Swans prevail by 31 points as well 165-134.  Yes folks, this is completely random.  There is no way this game even comes close to this score in the real world.

Magpie fans wanted Buckley gone last year.  Now they think he is a hero as a truly injury ravaged Collingwood places third on the ladder.  This is really an amazing accomplishment for the club.  Their reward, however, is a trip to Perth where they play the up and down Eagles.  On this Saturday night, the Eagles are flying high with a 96-56 victory over the Magpies.

Round 2

Round 2 sees Collingwood and Richmond licking their wounds.  They get their double chance as a reward for finishing in the top four.  Will they be able to take advantage of it?  Melbourne have a lot of self belief as they face last year’s premiers the Tigers.  They have been on fire lately and they shatter the Richmond defence for 128 points.  Unfortunately for the Demons, their defence is even worse than Richmond’s as the reigning premiers  fight off a strong Melbourne side 157-128.  Wow, even for the Random tournament, these scores are the highest they have ever been.  Melbourne has gone the longest without a premiership and the wait continues as Richmond, shocked awake by their loss to the Hawks a week earlier, roar once more.

The Magpies also bounce back with an easy 53 point win over Sydney 106-53.  Sydney have been kind of playing above themselves in the latter half of the year but they are at last put out of their misery.  The final four will therefore feature the top 4 just as it did in last year’s real finals.

The Preliminary Finals

The Eagles have had a week’s rest and are at home where they play a Tigers team whose only interstate win was against the pathetic Gold Coast Suns.  The Eagles smashed the Tigers earlier in the season.  Thus Eagles fans can be forgiven for being pretty confident.  But this Richmond side is resilient as they send the home crowd packing with tears in their eyes 119-44.  I doubt anyone saw that 75 point win coming.  The Tigers are back baby!

Meanwhile in Melbourne the Hawks and Magpies play in front of a huge crowd.  Collingwood fans can feel it.  Hawthorn fans can feel it too.  Both sets of fans feel theirs is the team of destiny.  No one thought they had a chance this year and here they are playing for a spot in the Grand Final.  And on this night, it is the Hawks who emerge victorious in another high scoring marathon 168-114.  So we have two blowout preliminary finals.

Grand Final

So here we are again.  The Tigers and Hawks started the finals series and it is the Tigers and the Hawks playing off in the Grand Final.  The media praise the Hawks defensive abilities.  After all, they shut the Tigers down the first time.  Clarkson is a genius.  The Tigers beat the Hawks during the regular season.  The Hawks beat the Tigers in the Totally Random first round.  So which performance is stronger, the real one, or the random one?

This Grand Final is not even close.  From the opening siren the awesome force known as the Richmond Tigers destroy any open the Hawks might have had.  This Grand Final is a 110 point blowout in favor of the Richmond Tigers, this year’s Totally Random Premiers!

It is amazing over the years how often the Totally Random tournament has actually picked the favorite.  Why should this year be any different.  Last year the Tigers one the real thing.  This year they win the Totally Random finals.  Will they go back to back in the real world?  This finals series features some really compelling games.

Go Tigers!!!