The Completely Random Baseball Playoffs

It’s October which means the opening of the NHL season.  Oh yes, and it also means Major League Baseball puts on its annual postseason show.  Now that the two wild card play-in games are done, - and thank you Astros for putting an end to the Yankees season – it is time for the Completely Random baseball postseason tournament.

By completely random, I mean just that.  Merit, home field, injuries and other circumstances are meaningless here.  This is purely based on random number generation.  Before I go on I should say that the last random tournament was for the Australian Rules Football League finals and I am happy to report that the Completely Random AFL finals was a complete bomb.  In that glorious tournament, my Tigers defeated the longsuffering Western Bulldogs in the Grand Final to capture their first premiership since 1980.  In the real finals, my Tigers were bounced in the first round making it three years in a row of one and done in the finals.  Very depressing.  Meanwhile Bulldogs fans continue to suffer even longer as they too were ousted in the first round.  Keep this spectacularly wrong prediction in mind as we summarize what happened in the completely random MLB tournament.

The Divisional Series

There are four series which are a best of 5.  In the American League, The Rangers defeated the Blue Jays in 5, 3 games to 2.  Toronto fans were hopeful for game 5 because it was at home.  But the Blue Jays decided to emulate the Maple Leafs and disappoint their fans.  Despite the good karma the Astros gained by ending the Yankees season, it wasn’t enough as the Royals took them down 3 games to 1.

Meanwhile in the National League we have one of the most compelling rivalry series we have had in years.  The Cubs, who continue to redefine what it means to be longsuffering each year, face off against the Cardinals, who have become the evil empire of our time unless you are a Cardinals fan of course.  This series lived up to everything we could have wanted and all America rejoiced as the Cubs took down the empire in 5, capping off this great series with a 2-1 win in game 5 which was held in St. Louis.

Meanwhile the Mets have high hopes this year because their division win was unexpected.  The Dodgers have disappointed in previous years but not this time.  This series was a clean sweep by the Dodgers sending Mets fans back to the drawing board.

The League Championship Series

Kansas City had the best record in the American League while the Rangers had to fight tooth and nail just to make it.  They must have been exhausted because the Royals, who came so close to winning it all last year, brought out the brooms and took down the Rangers in 4. 

By now, all of America except for Los Angeles, is cheering for the Cubs.  The Dodgers, however, won the first three games.  It was all over.  But then the Cubs won game 4.  Then they won game 5.  Then they won a dramatic game 6 at home.  Could they do what the 2004 Red Sox did, coming back from 3-0 down against the Yankees to advance to the World Series?  Sadly no and the frustration continues for the poor cubs as they go down in game 7.  Dodger fans are ecstatic but a little sad too because I think deep down, everyone wants to Cubs to finally win one.  Dodgers advance in 7.

The World Series

Now America watches more football, but some pay attention to the World Series.  These are mostly in Missouri and Los Angeles.  People in San Francisco are also paying attention partly because the 49ers suck and are unwatchable, but mostly because they hate the Dodgers and cannot bear the thought of them being the champions.  Dodger fans have had to endure a great era by the Giants so they want nothing more than to get some payback for all the pain and suffering they endured watching the Giants celebrate title after title.  Meanwhile Royals fans have suffered for a long time and many fans only experience the Royals brief glory years in highlight videos.  Last year they knocked on the door.  Can they kick it in this time? 

The Royals don’t kick the door in.  They blast it apart with heavy machinegun fire as they blow the Dodgers away in 4.  They don’t just sweep, they blow them out in each and every game.  The Dodgers got some seriously bad karma by ripping the heart out of America when they defeated the Cubs after hopes were raised to fever pitch. 

So there you have it.  The Kansas City Royals are the 2015 Completely Random World Series champions.  As for Chicago Cubs fans, not only do they have to put up with this disappointment, their Bears suck and the Bulls are a soap opera.  Poor Chicago.  But wait a minute!  They have the Blackhawks who are the reigning NHL champions.  OK, I don’t feel so bad for them anymore.  Embrace Hockey Chicago!   Meanwhile all of America congratulates the Royals, acknowledges them, and then gets back to watching the NFL.  Royals fans are ecstatic.  They finally have a championship after over 30 years.  They might as well enjoy it because the Kansas City Chiefs, have about as much chance of winning the Super Bowl as the United Sates Rugby World Cup team has of winning the World Cup.  And that, my friends, is a big zero.  Still, the Royals championship is a nice story and with that, another Completely Random tournament comes to a close.