The 2024 Totally Random NBA Playoffs

 The 2024 Totally Random NBA Playoffs

The long NBA regular season is finally and mercifully, in my opinion, over.  It is about 10 games too long in my opinion.  But it’s done now which means it is time for the Totally Random 2024 NBA Playoffs.  Merit, home court, injuries, and form play no part.  Each series and subsequent rounds are run once to get a completely random result.  I ran the results before the playoffs started but did not have time to write and post this before the first games began.  So here is what happened.

The First Round

In the east, the Heat got in through the play-in tournament once more and face the team with the best record in the NBA, my Boston Celtics.  This is a rematch of the Eastern Conference Final from last year in which Boston came back from a 3-0 deficit only to be blown off their home court by the Heat who advanced to the NBA final.  That was one of the most embarrassing losses in franchise history and I have followed the Celtics since the Dave Collins era, that’s how old I am.  And the demons resurfaced as the Heat took game 1 in Boston.  But the Celtics snapped out of it and won the next four advancing with a 4-1 series win.  That is what should have happened last year, but the totally Random universe brought vindication to the Celtics, at least for now.

Meanwhile the 76ers play the Knicks in a series I am really looking forward to.  The Knicks are finally relevant and both venues were loud, even in the Totally Random Universe.  The 76ers also took game 1 in New York emulating the Heat in Boston.  The Knicks evened things up and then the teams traded games until the poor Knicks fans were about to drop from exhaustion when Game 7 finally hit New York.  But all went well for starved Knicks fans.  They prevailed over the 76ers in a tight game 7.

The real shock happened with Pacers v. Bucks.  The Pacers swept.  Wow, I did not see that one coming.  But in the world of total randomness, bizarre things like this can happen.

When it came to the Magic against the Cavaliers, it was hard to pick a winner.  In the end, the Magic prevailed by winning a road Game 7 rather comfortably.  Cleveland is used to being disappointed though and they can now transfer their false hopes on to the Guardians in MLB before once again sinking hopelessly with the Browns later this year.

In the West the Thunder surprised by being the number one seed in the West and they dispatched the play-in Pelicans in 6 games.  But how would the Nuggets go against the Lakers?  The Lakers won game 1 in Denver.  Game 1 road wins were a trend in the totally Random tournament.  Only the Timberwolves held serve in game 1.  The Nuggets were sluggish, but they found their rhythm in the end winning in 6 games.  Bye-bye Lakers and good riddance. 

The Timberwolves may have held serve at home in Game 1, but it was the rejuvenated Suns who took the series in 6.  The Timberwolves looked promising early in the season, but ultimately bowed out in the first round. 

And finally, in a bitterly fought series between the Mavericks and the Clippers, it was the Mavericks who won Game 7 on the road to advance to the next round.  This was a surprise to everyone.

The Second Round

The Indiana Pacers might have swept the Bucks in the first round, but they nearly got swept by the C’s in the second round.  Boston won the first 3 games of the series.  Indiana got a token win at home in Game 4 before Boston took care of business in game 5 winning the series easily 4-1.

Knicks fans are torn between thinking they are in Disneyland and actually having a good team.  In the second round they play the Magic who play in Orlando which is the home of Disneyworld.  But Orlando runs out of Magic and Knicks fans climb to the next level on the mountain.  New York is confused because they have hardly been here in 50 years.  Governor Kathy Hochul orders a commission to study this rare event.

Meanwhile in the west, the Phoenix Suns topple the young Thunder 4-3.  Although they are disappointed, Thunder fans know they have much to look forward to.  This is a young and dynamic team.

If the Pacers’ four game sweep of Milwaukee in round 1 was a shock, the Mavericks broom job over the Nuggets is beyond comprehension.  None of the games except the clincher are close.  In the clincher, the Mavericks prevail 105-103 in front of a stunned but happy home crowd.  The people of Texas begin to voice the opinion that Greg Abbott might have been premature when he seceded from all American professional sports bodies.  The Texas Supreme court puts a stay on the order pending the Mavericks NBA chances.  (See the Totally Random NHL Playoffs).

The Conference Finals

Here we go again, New York v. Boston.  We had Yankees Red Sox, we had Giants Patriots.  The New York Jets don’t really count I’m sorry to say.  We have had the Rangers Bruins for years.  But Knicks fans care about their basketball, and they have been starved.  But unfortunately for New York, the Celtics have found their rhythm and tear through the overachieving Knicks bringing their brooms to New York and sweeping the series.  Yes for a neutral that was anticlimactic but for Celtics fans, oh how sweet it is.  We’re back in the finals. 

Meanwhile the Mavericks are on fire, taking out the suns easily in five games. Phoenix sued the NBA claiming Texas teams had seceded and so the result does not count.  This will go to the Supreme Court.  But for now, the Mavericks fly to Boston for the final.

The NBA Finals

This series appears to be one-sided when the unstoppable Celtics win the first 3 games.  But doubt creeps in as the Mavericks survive with a 2-point win in Game 4, then stun the home Boston crowd who were looking forward to a home court clinch as they did against the Lakers in 2008, the last time Bean town celebrated an NBA championship.  The Celtics are overanxious and miss most of their 3’s.  The Mavericks believe as they return home for Game 6.  But reality sets in and Boston seals the deal in Dallas, winning Banner 18!  Congratulations to the Boston Celtics, winners of the 2024 totally Random NBA Playoffs.  Let’s hope the real world brings the same result.  Go Celtics!