Totally Random Rugby World cup

Totally Random Rugby World Cup

Hello Rugby Union fans across the globe.  It is now time for what you have been waiting for.  Forget the real matches.  It’s time for the Totally Random Rugby World Cup.  The results are purely based on random numbers.  Merit, form, world ranking, or weather don’t matter here.

I was too lazy to do this for all of the group matches.  Now that the dross has gone home from Japan, there are only eight teams left so here we go.

Quarterfinals

The Wallabies have not exactly lit the world up with their form of late so England goes in as the favorites.  Of course, since this is completely random, that doesn’t matter.  And it doesn’t matter here.  The sleeping giant from down under erupts with a stunning 44-20 victory over England.  First Australia retains the Ashes, then they knock England out.  Those sweet chariots known as airplanes will be taking England back home early.

Poor Ireland, a team whose fans had so much hope, must face the might of the All Blacks.  Through some miracle, New Zealand is held to just 10 points as Ireland roll 34-10.  Now that really is stunning, but in the Totally Random World Cup, dreams have a 50% chance of coming true.

On Sunday Wales finally puts France out of their misery 42-16.  Les Bleus have been Les Sluggish and now mercifully, they are out and can regroup for the Six Nations.  Meanwhile Japan have had a really good run as the host nation.  Four years ago, they stunned South Africa.  Can they do it again?  No.  The home team is out in a close game 20-12.

The Semi Finals (pronounced sem-eye) of course

Can Ireland continue their Cinderella ride in the World Cup against the suddenly in form Wallabies?  No.  Australia, now fully awake wins a high scoring 41-30 affair knocking the Irish out.

In the other semi-final, Wales continues their good form bouncing South Africa 25-9.  They say what goes around comes around.  Are the 80’s coming back? 

The Final

There is a third place match and no one cares.  For the record, Ireland take 3^rd with a 38-25 victory over South Africa.

But everyone’s attention turns to the finals.  Australia has come out of nowhere whereas Wales was always considered a dark horse contender.  In the finals, Australia finish off Wales easily 32-14 in one of their most surprising World Cup wins.  So there you have it.  The Totally Random world champions are the mighty Wallabies.  Let’s hope the real matches are as entertaining and I hope someone knocks off New Zealand.  I don’t hate New Zealand at all; I just want something different.