The 2019 NRL Totally Random Finals

The 2019 NRL Totally Random Finals

Now that the NRL season has finally finished, it’s time for the completely random NRL finals.  Merit, home field, past performance, psychology have nothing to do with this analysis.  The results are based purely on random number generation with no other factors.  With that in mind, let’s go.

Round 1

In round 1 the Roosters keep on going with a high scoring 44-28 win over the Rabbitohs.  Just because the word Rabbitohs is not in my spell checker doesn’t mean they aren’t a viable premier, but in round 1, they go down to arguably the best team going.

In the random universe, top of the table Storm has a 50/50 chance of winning and in this case, they are blown away by the Raiders 24-38.  Well the Raiders did beat them in Melbourne not too long ago.

Both the Storm and the Rabbitohs live to fight another day though.  This cannot be said for the Sharks and the Broncos.  The Sharks go down to the Sea Eagles in a low scoring drop goal decided thriller 9-8.  Meanwhile the Eels squeak by the Broncos 22-20 and I’m sure controversy rages regarding a penalty that was given that should not have been.

Round 2

The horror finals continue for the Storm who go down to Manly 20-28.  Wow, the random universe is cruel.  Now Melbourne will have to focus on AFL which, somehow, I don’t think will be too difficult for them.  The Rabbitohs, now part of my Word dictionary, do take advantage of their second chance to squeak by the Eels 8-6. 

Preliminary Finals

The Raiders, freaked out by their unexpected win over the Storm, cannot handle being this close to glory.  Meanwhile the Rabbitohs, thankful to be part of a Microsoft Word dictionary and therefore having their existence acknowledged by the tech giant, move into the Grand Final with a convincing 46-14 win over the poor Raiders.

Meanwhile the beat goes on for the Roosters who will defend their premiership after a 34-0 whitewash of the Sea Eagles.  Goodbye Sea Eagles.  Somehow, I doubt people in NSW are too upset by this.

The Storm Free Grand Final

This sets up a Storm free Grand Final consisting of teams from NSW.  People did not realize this was possible and news broadcasts are full of the shock experienced by the general population as a result of this once in a life time event.  The people of that state are just glad the Storm are gone and don’t care who wins.  But I suppose more are going for the underdog Rabbitohs than the defending champions.  For those people, their wish comes true.  The Roosters, for some reason, decide not to show up as the Rabbitohs romp 48-4.  What an achievement.

And there you have it, the 2019 Totally Random champs are the Rabbitohs.  With all that said, let the real games begin and Go Storm!