Hello again. It’s
that time. The time some of Australia
has been waiting for. It’s time for the
Totally Random NRL finals. Weather,
skill, merit, form or home field play no part here. Results are completely random. Well, almost.
Because Rugby League scores mostly consist of even numbers, the
algorithm takes that into account when generating a random Rugby League
score. And with that, let the random
games begin.
First Round
The fun begins when the Storm take out the South Sydney
Rabbitohs. The Rabbitohs have never
beaten the Storm in Melbourne. Will
their luck change in the Random Finals?
But first, what exactly is a rabbitoh anyway? This team is often referred to as “the
bunnies” but actually, a rabbitoh is not a rabbit. It refers to a person who sells rabbits for
food. We probably don’t actually have
those anymore, but that is what they were back in the day. The Storm have had trouble scoring of late
which is a worry in the real world. In
the random world, however, not a problem as the Storm lay the Smack Down on
Souths 44-16. Where did that explosion
of points come from?
In the next match the Panthers haven’t had the best form
either but they managed to finish in the eight.
The Warriors have 1/10 of New Zealand buzzing and why not as the
Warriors knock off the Panthers 32-0.
Wow what a blowout.
And then we get to the Sharks, the team I like the
least. They go up against the minor
premiers the Roosters. The Sharks
violated the salary cap so don’t deserve to do well in either the real world or
the random one. My team, the Storm,
would never violate the salary cap and the Sharks’ actions are a blight against
teams with integrity like the Storm and all the others. In a scoring marathon, the Roosters survive
48-42.
The in form Broncos take on the Dragons. The Broncos look dangerous in the real world
but unfortunately for them, this is all random and they bow out of 2018 with a
36-30 loss to the Dragons.
Round 2
In Round 2, the Dragons continue their impressive random
tournament smashing the Rabbitohs 40-10.
The Rabbitohs had the double chance and blew both of them. Will the Dragons do what the Queensland
Cowboys did last year and storm into the Grand Final? We’ll see, but they are in the Preliminary
Final this year.
Meanwhile the cheating Sharks just keep on winning, smashing
the hopes and dreams of 1/10 of New Zealand 42-22. Wow these scores are high. It was that way in the random AFL finals
to. What’s with my algorithm?
The Preliminary Final
A well rested Storm take on their nemesis the Sharks. I can still feel the pain of the Sharks’ two
point Grand Final win against the storm two years ago. But oh yeah, they were cheating at the
time. I wonder if the NRL will vacate
that Grand Final. Probably not because
the Sharks are a NSW team and not a Melbourne one. In a good hard fought contest indicative of
what happens when these two teams play one another, the Storm scores a late try
to win 28-22. Well OK I made that last
bit up. The random score generator says
nothing about how or when the points were scored. The defending premiers are set to defend
again.
The Dragons, the Cinderella team of these random finals lay
32 on the top team Roosters. But
unfortunately, the random score generator loves the Roosters and gives them 46
points. Nice try Dragons but you’ll have
to look to next year.
The Grand Final
Isn’t it ironic that with totally random score generation,
the top two teams face off in the Grand Final.
Amazing. The Roosters have a big
home field advantage over the team all of New South Wales hates, the might
Melbourne Storm. The two teams finished
the season with equal points. The
Roosters got top spot on point differential.
They deserved their spot at the top.
But the minor premiership is the biggest who cares award in Australian
sports. It’s the real thing everyone
wants.
In this totally random Grand Final, it is the defending premiers
who shine with a comfortable and dominating 32-14 win over the Roosters. There will be no crowing this year. The Storm will probably lose two of the
greatest players of all time to retirement, so it is fitting they go out on
top. And they do. Congratulations Melbourne Storm, you are the
2018 Totally Random NRL champions.
NOTE: The AFL totally
random tournament picked my team the Tigers to win. The NRL random tournament picks my team the
Storm to win. Is there any doctoring
going on I hear all Australia ask? The
answer is no. It really is completely
random. But let’s hope that in both
cases, randomness reflects reality.
