Totally Random NFL Playoffs 2019-20 Season
It is that time of year again, time for the playoffs
everyone is actually interested in, the totally random NFL playoffs. In these playoffs, merit, home field and
injuries have nothing to do with the outcome.
The results here are completely random.
Sadly, the Totally Random Playoffs slipped my mind
completely for wild card weekend. I was
focussed on the bushfires that are ravaging Australia. So this year, we start from the divisional
round.
Divisional Round
Kirk Cousins is the new Tom Brady as he leads his Vikings to
a massacre of the rested 49ers 46-9.
What a shocking loss for the 49ers who looked so good up to now. But this loss is nothing compared to the
Ravens shock 33-14 loss to the Titans.
There goes the Super Bowl we have all been waiting for. And the shock losses continue. The Chiefs, with their high powered offence
manages only 3 points against the Texans.
Must have been a random blizzard that hit Kansas City.
But all is not lost for home teams. The Packers defend their frozen tundra with a
27-18 win over the gallant, but ultimately unsuccessful Seahawks.
Championship Round
The Vikings are unbeatable.
They absolutely ground the Packers into the frozen tundra 45-2 and just
to be mean, I’ll say the 2 points they gave up were right at the end of the
game when the Vikings backup decided to run the ball out of the end zone to
kill the clock. Why not.
In the AFC, the Home team Texans, who surely never expected
a home game, fail to take advantage and the 6 seed Titans defeat the Texans
29-11. This gives us the Super Bowl
paring we all thought would happen at the beginning of the season, the Titans
and the Vikings.
The Super Bowl
Both the Vikings and Titans have great defences, but neither
shows up in the Super Bowl. This is like
Patriots-Eagles all over again. The
Vikings do what Bud Grant failed to do and the Vikings erase the bad memories
of their 0-4 Super Bowl record with a thrilling 44-39 victory over the Titans. Kirk Cousins is MVP and all the talking heads
tell us they knew he could do this all along.
Then in a shock move worthy of WWE, Mike Zimmer, coach of
the Vikings, decides to leave the Vikings and coach my Cowboys. The Cowboys finally get a great coach.
So congratulations to the Vikings for winning the Totally
Random Super Bowl, and for the Cowboys for getting Mike Zimmer as their new
head coach. This is so much better than
reality isn’t it?
