Totally Random NFL Playoffs
At last the NFL season is over. 17 weeks of hard hitting
football comes to an end leaving 12 teams in what is commonly known of as “the
tournament.” Experts and fans will analyze this week’s Wild Card Weekend to
death in order to project winners and margins of victory. But here, it is the Totally Random NFL
Playoffs. Nothing is considered. Home field means nothing. Offensive and Defensive statistics mean
nothing. Even the fact that I am a
diehard Cowboys fan means nothing. The
results are completely random. So who
wins the Super Bowl with this criteria?
Let’s find out.
Wild Card Weekend
We begin with the Indianapolis Colts going against the Houston
Texans. In the real world, the Colts
might be the hottest team going and this transfers into our random tournament
as they defeat the Texans in a low scoring game in which both offenses struggle. Final random score is 17-8 Colts.
Next we have the game I’ve been waiting for. The Seahawks against the Cowboys. In the regular season the Hawks nailed the
Cowboys 24-13 back before we got Cooper and could barely score. Unfortunately for me, in this random world,
the Cowboys offense which has been inconsistent all year, manages a whopping 3
points while the Seahawks score 26. Well
that was a disappointment. Cowboys out
in the random tournament.
We next have a rematch between the Chargers and the
Ravens. In the first contest the Ravens
went to LA and beat the Chargers 22-10 in a pretty close game. Here, it’s not even close. The Chargers smash the Ravens 47-3. Wow what a blowout.
You would think the Eagles and the Bears would be low
scoring, but now that the Eagles have a QB they like, anything can happen. And it does here. The bears finally have a good team and they
win in a shootout 47-24. The miracle
Eagles are finally gone and as a Cowboys fan, I’m happy about that. I’m still bitter over the hated Eagles
winning last year’s Super Bowl.
Divisional Round
With Wild Card Weekend out of the way we get to the heart of
the playoffs. As the 6th place
team the Colts get to travel to the Chiefs.
No problem. Maybe there was a
blizzard as happened in the 1995 season when the 15-1 Chiefs lost 10-7 against
the Colts and were out. This time the
Colts win easily 20-3.
The Seahawks, feeling good about themselves after beating
America’s team find out why the Saints are hard to be in that dome of
theirs. It’s not even close as the
Saints roll 41-5.
New England always does well in the playoffs. They are coming off a bye, but the Chargers
are the team nobody wants to play. In
another snow storm the Chargers blank the Patriots 14-0. Will this be the end of the dynasty? All the Patriots’ weaknesses are exposed as
the Chargers roll on to the AFC Championship game against the hot Colts.
Meanwhile in the NFC the Saints are joined in the NFC
Championship round by the Rams who defeat the Bears in a low scoring thriller
16-13. What a game.
Championship Weekend
So we have the Colts and the Chargers in the AFC, the 6th
and 5th teams. This is why
the Random playoffs are so great. But in
the NFC it’s all chalk. It’s the first
and second place teams going at it.
The Chargers don’t really have a home field advantage and
this shows as the amazing Colts roll on 4r1-17.
That offensive line of theirs is great and the Chargers just cannot stop
Andrew Luck.
Meanwhile in an instant classic, the LA Rams upset the Saints
in New Orleans 29-24. This game goes
back and forth but in the end, the Rams somehow manage to do what everyone said
could not be done.
So we have a Colts vs. Rams Super Bowl.
Super Bowl LIII
Can’t we just use real numbers instead of this Roman garbage? Anyway, this is a Super Bowl no one really
saw coming. Could the Colts ride this
hot streak to win the big one or will the Rams, who started off as everyone’s darlings, finish as well as they started?
The Colts have played big games coming into the playoffs,
and then lots of road wins to get to the Super Bowl. All that takes a toll and they finally run
out of gas. The Rams win easily 34-8.
So Congratulations to the LA Rams, this year’s Totally
Random Super Bowl winners.
