The 2018 Totally Random NFL Playoffs
It’s that time of year again. It’s time for the Totally Random NFL
predictions. This is exactly what the
name implies. It is completely
random. No other factors are used to
determine the winners. The tournament is
run once and the results are final. So here
we go.
Wild Card Weekend
AFC
This year is the year of the upset. The titans go into Kansas city and blow the
Chiefs away 44-26. Have the Titans
scored 44 points all season? Of course
they have, but it seems like they haven’t.
But they do in this random game and put Chiefs fans out of their
misery. Meanwhile Jacksonville is glad
to make the playoffs while the bills don’t know what to do since they haven’t
been in The Tournament since 1999. But
nobody circles the wagons like the buffalo Bills and circle they do as they
eliminate the favored Jaguars 20-16.
NFC
Last year’s real NFC champions Atlanta Falcons find out that
a year is a long time in football as they get blown back to the Stone Age 42-10
in LA. Even though there are probably
more Falcons fans in the stands, the Rams prove they are no fluke. Meanwhile down in New Orleans, the up and
down Panthers are up and, third time lucky, they defeat the Saints 20-14. New Orleans got an unexpectedly good year
this year, but it’s all over in wild Card Weekend.
Divisional Round
AFC
After shocking America and most particularly, their own
fans, the titans continue their offensive explosion against the Steelers as
they shock America once more with a 36-33 upset win in Pittsburgh. Meanwhile reports of the death of the
Patriots are very much exaggerated. The
Patriots scored 37 points against the Bills the last time the played them and
they do it again as they cruise to a 37-21 romp. During the 4th quarter, the New
England fans chant Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy but Jimmy isn’t there anymore. Still, a win is a win.
NFC
Toward the end of the season, the Eagles celebrated if they
made a first down while touchdowns remained a distant dream. So it came as a shock to the confident
Panthers when Philadelphia’s inept offense put 46 on the Carolina D. Carolina couldn’t keep up, managing only 23
of their own points. The Rams look like
the NFC’s class act as they shred Minnesota’s awesome defence 36-17. Vikings fans suddenly remember their QB is a
backup, and not Tom Brady II.
Championship Round
It looks like another Patriots Super Bowl but in the totally
Random world, anything can happen. The
Titans are on an amazing roll and the amazing roll continues as the suddenly
explosive offense smashes the Patriots with a 35-22 upset win. Reports of the death of the Patriots are
true. This might be the end of the dynasty. The Titans are in the Super Bowl.
And the titans face the Eagles as the Eagles prove why they
are the number one seed with a 31-19 win over the disappointing Rams. Maybe the Eagles were sand bagging toward the
end of the season. I mean, scoring no
points against the Cowboys now appears to be an acting job.
The Big Dance
So we have the Titans and the Eagles in the big one. Neither has won it before. And now, Philadelphia has someone other than
Rocky Balboa to celebrate. They have the
2018 totally Random Super Bowl Championship they have craved for so long. Eagles over titans 30-5. Vegas goes broke because of the Titans safety
because whether there is a safety or not is one of the most bet Super Bowl prop
bets. Eagles cruise.
As a Cowboys fan, I can’t quite bring myself to congratulate
the Eagles. I will only say I’m glad
this is only the Totally Random playoffs.
